Essay on marrying the wrong person

But when she meets a man she can actually picture herself married to, she is forced to reevaluate everything she stands for. Their romantic relationships provide the initial lens through which these women are viewed, but it soon becomes clear that making any relationship last for life is a story in itself, that our relationships with our parents, children, siblings and friends can be just as fraught, and potentially rewarding. People often ask if there is one character in Mating for Life with whom I identify most strongly.

The truth is, I identify with each character in different ways —and in others, they are like no one I have ever met. Now that the novel is out in the world, the characters exist in my mind like the sisters I don't have, but have always wished for. My characters taught me a lot about making relationships work. They taught me both what to do, and what not to do, under any circumstances.

Through the research I did for the epigraphs at the start of each chapter, which briefly detail the mating habits of certain animals, I also learned that monogamy is just as tough for our animal counterparts as it is for us. This was strangely comforting! Vultures have it seriously rough. I would not like to be a black bear during mating season. I thought, as I wrote Mating for Life , that by the end of it I would be able to justify why it was okay to walk away from a marriage because it was no longer easy.

But what started out as anything but a love story turned into just that. As I wrote about what it takes to love another person 'til death do us part,' I realized that this kind of love is a choice.

How to Know if You’ve Married the Wrong Person

The professor was right: it's not a biological imperative. That's why it's hard! This choice is an easy one to make, at first. Saying yes to the ring, and the dress, and the big day, and the honeymoon — that's simple. But saying yes to a love that can stand the test of time takes effort, and acceptance and humility.

Not every relationship is going to last forever, and that's a choice, too, and not one to feel guilty about if it ends up being yours. But the relationships that do last, even through difficult times, can be incredibly fulfilling. The bonds that are strengthened through hardship can become stronger, the love that is tested, more resilient. Accepting this changed my life — and saved my marriage. For the next day, The Nest is hosting a series of essays about real life marriage with different female authors, with today's by Marissa Stapley.

The decision of whom to marry should be made personally without any pressures from anybody else; not from your parents, not from loneliness, and not even if the partner wants to.

How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 1

It is an issue that concerns a person's happiness forever and it should not be rushed into. In some cultures parents are the ones who choose their children's mate.

They search for an individual that comes from a good family. He must be able to support a family economically, and he must look appropriate to be a good husband or wife. These are not necessarily the qualities needed when a person is to spend his whole life with somebody. Sometimes individuals marry the wrong person only to please their family's expectations. Marriages can also be rushed in through other internal pressures.

It endures through sunshine and shadow, through darkest sorrow and on into the light. It never fails. So Christ loved us, and that is how He hoped we would love each other. Of course such Christlike staying power in romance and marriage requires more than any of us really have. It requires something more, an endowment from heaven. Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does.

You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Or, to phrase that more positively, Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness for you and for your sweetheart. How should I love thee?


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Good marriages are built by two people who are constantly asking themselves what they can do for the other person to ensure their comfort and happiness. It works both ways. You engage in love the verb and then love the noun , the emotions and feelings, are just remarkable.

Your Hardest Family Question: I feel like I married the wrong person | Meridian Magazine

Even though you second-guess your choice years ago, you can choose to love your husband every day. By doing that, you are acting in a way that reflects your commitment to turn toward each other. Geoff will answer a new family and relationship question every Friday. Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist in St. George, UT. He is the owner of Alliant Counseling and Education www.

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George, an outpatient treatment program for couples and individuals impacted by pornography and sexual addiction www. He also writes a weekly relationship column for the St. George News www. He served a full-time mission to the Dominican Republic and currently serves as the primary chorister. He is married to Jody Young Steurer and they are the parents of four children.

You can connect with him at: Website: www. I got engaged to my husband at 17 and married soon after my 18th birthday.


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  • Second thoughts over the years about my choice of eternal companion? We even went to the brink of divorce at one point. But I knew the grass would not be greener on the other side and tossing aside years of shared history would not make either of us happier. So we got marriage counseling, sought the peace and inspiration only temple attendance can provide, and promised each other not to use the "D" word until we had done everything the marriage counselor asked us to do.